December

It’s almost December, which for many people heralds the approach of Christmas. A time for celebration, but one which also brings stress for many. Pressure to spend money – on food, gifts, decorations, entertaining. Expectations of seeing people, including joining in work events and getting into the ‘spirit’ of Christmas. School plays, markets, and other end of term activities keep families busy. Multiple clashes of events mean people can rarely do all that they hope to. And the advertising seems to start earlier every year.

Bipolar disorder and celebrations tend not to be a comfortable pairing. At the higher end of the manic scale, the temptation to spend money is a well-documented symptom. The combination of Black Friday with pre-Christmas sales makes it almost impossible for even the most moderate spenders to refrain from buying something. Place someone with a known spending risk in front of a laptop during this time, and the consequences are almost inevitable.

At the other end of the scale, bipolar is a very solitary illness. The thought of spending time in large groups, even with friends or family, can become overwhelming. Dark rooms and duvets hold more appeal, for the safety and security they offer. It’s not a case of being rude, it’s a need to rest completely. Mentally as well as physically. Being around people is tiring, and at the low end of the scale, it’s exhausting. Interacting becomes difficult, and people may be accused of being offhand, when all they need is some time out. During December, the expectation to interact with others becomes more intense than usual. It’s hard to avoid the pressure.

Even with medication, bipolar can be unpredictable. Which is one of the reasons why sufferers often strive for order, to try to retain some sort of control. Routine at any holiday time is likely to be disrupted. I think this is the area which I find most difficult. I like to know exactly what is planned, on any given day during the year. If others are devising schedules which include me, it is extremely stressful until I have all the finer details.

As an adult, it is easier to conceal the anxiety. However, the stress is real. At Christmas, I try to plan every day in advance, so I know what to expect when. Life doesn’t operate like this, of course, but it’s one way of trying to reduce pressure. Key to this is keeping everything simple. Not too many engagements, not too much travel, and plenty of down time. Not too much isolation though. Rumination and introspection aren’t always safe places to venture alone.

The combination of fluctuating emotions around the season, and sleep pattern disruption, will often lead to a downwards mood trajectory. Having enjoyed Christmas as a child, it saddens me to know that even with careful management, I am likely to tip into depression at some point during December. Even with medication and regular check-ups, the inexorable slide cannot be halted. Depression is not something which you can coach your way out of, so preparation is key in trying to manage the symptoms.

Coping

Some strategies I’ve adopted over the years include the following:

• Don’t be afraid to say no to engagements, and don’t feel the need to explain why
• Do make sure you have one or two trusted family or friends who you can confide in when you’re feeling anxious or stressed
• Don’t become isolated from others, time to rest is important, but not at the expense of any interaction
• Do spend time outside, in natural surroundings as opposed to busy streets; enjoy the fresh air and the proximity to nature
• Don’t forget to take medication
• Do try to plan time between any journeys so you have a chance to re-energise
• Don’t panic if schedules have to change
• Do take each day at a time, and try to stay in the moment
• Don’t be hard on yourself if you don’t feel seasonal at all times (or indeed much of the time)
• Do step away from festivities if you need to, it’s okay to have time to yourself

As always, if you need to speak to somebody, please reach out. It’s not always easy to ask for help, but it’s so important to talk. If you feel unable to speak to family or friends, a good first point of contact is the Samaritans. Their freephone number is 116 123, and there are people on hand every hour of every day of the year to offer support.