Anniversary

The word anniversary originates from the Latin word, anniversarius. Anniversarius itself comes from annus (Latin for year), and versus (Latin for turn). Anniversaries are measured in years; every day is the anniversary of whatever happened that day any multiple of years ago. They often recall happy events such as the date someone was born, or when they married. They might also commemorate the founding of something such as a community venture. An anniversary is a form of milestone, as demonstrated in the anniversary section of greeting card displays.

Mind Day

The Old English word for anniversary was mynddæg, meaning ‘mind day’, a day for remembrance or memory. It was literally used to refer to a day which changed the course of a life. I feel this word is almost a better descriptor of an anniversary, than the word anniversary is.

My family has a mind day coming up, when each in our own way we will remember Mum, who died last year. I think of her, and speak to her every day. Life had changed dramatically during last year, even before her death in November. Having been knocked right off course, I’m still trying to work out how to navigate back to a path with a more clearly defined future. As someone whose default setting is rumination rather than introspection, it’s a bumpy time.

Memories

I think seeing the end of life come to someone you love necessarily leads to a period of reflection. We carry much from those who have been. My sisters and I laugh at shared memories we have of childhood. Looking at photographs can take us straight back to a day or a place. We share memes which remind us of things we did, or habits we share. As well as people, we recall the animals who were part of our family with affection. But who will carry these memories after us? And what becomes of the energy which we generate in remembering together? Perhaps the next generation will remember some of the stories, but eventually they will be lost to time.

This leads on to thinking about the point of life. I don’t know whether anything happens after death, in a spiritual sense. It would take more than a blog post to discuss what’s next, after we pass. Researchers continue to try to understand what’s going on at the time of death, particularly in respect of brain activity.

The fact is that I am here, and the dead are not. Or at least not in the same way that I knew them. While living, life remains a journey of possibilities. Not just for me, but for those I love; my son in particular who is growing up so quickly in this volatile world. But next month I will pause from the present to look back and take a mind day of remembrance. I’m not sure what shape the day will take. I’ve seen suggestions which include writing poetry, going to somewhere your loved one enjoyed, making a memory box, and cooking their favourite meal. Whatever I do, it will be a day to celebrate Mum’s life, to give thanks for the opportunity she gave me to enter this world, and to mark her passing.